Christmas Day

We drove to New Smyrna and cleaned garbage from the beach.

USA Today

Good article...

Sunny Times

We're under a tornado watch. This kind of weather always freaks me out.

Yesterday, the weather was beautiful. It was the kind of weather that inspires sonnets; standing in the sun's rays, it felt like a cozy blanket, balmy and cool in the shade. Gentle breezes...I wanted to roll up my sleeves and attack the weeds that have crowded out nearly every flower in my garden. But, there were other tasks on yesterday's agenda.

I finished packing the gifts for Steve's family. We had little luck finding bio-degradable packing peanuts. Steve is the smart one - he finally checked online. Who'd a thunk it, but U-Haul sells them??!! There's a U-Haul around the corner, so that was easy enough. Got everything secured and tapped. FedEx 2-day ground, $35! Woo-hoo! I really thought it was going to be at least double.

Then, I drove to Mon Delice to buy two boxes of pastries for Steve's office. I always buy a variety, but it turns out that Steve's colleagues were partial to the eclairs and ignored everything else. That is a bummer. Not only was it a waste of money, but it was a waste of a special treat. Also, Steve thought I bought too many. He only wanted them for his group of 10. Okay, I'll remember that for next time. The good news is that Mon Delice probably has about nine new customers - like they need more business.

When I was in Mon Delice yesterday, hoping to avoid running into Pam, I tried to keep a low profile. She saw me. It was actually really nice to talk to her again, but I hate seeing people who I worked with at Disney. 

Working at Disney was not the same for me as it was for my friends. I hated it, and I felt trapped. I liked the idea of performing, but I'm not a performer, and there is not an extroverted bone in my body. Seeing old friends reminds me of a starkly sad time in my life. Retelling old stories reveals a glaringly spiteful and shallow person, and I am shamed. I don't laugh at the stories, I cringe. There is nothing about that time of my life that I want to relive.

I am finally comfortable with who I am, in fact I really like who I am now. If I was the person I am now, then, I would have quit working at Disney after my first summer. More than likely, I would have quit after the first week. I didn't connect with anyone there. I was quiet, studious and reserved, but friendly. Those qualities don't cut the mustard at Disney. I adapted to my environment in the ugliest possible way. I abandoned who I was, and who I wanted to be in favor of acting like an asswipe.

I acquired my Disney family being someone I'm not. I would never be friends with those people today. My decision to retreat from all things Disney has caused some hurt feelings. No one will believe me when I explain that they wouldn't have fun with me now. By their standards, I honestly believe that they would regard me as a fuddy-duddy and ask repeatedly, "What happened to Katie? She is SO boring!" I don't think I'm boring, I'm simply theorizing about their reaction to seeing me again.

Pam told me that an old friend - Jeff - has been frantically looking for me. I was surprised, but told her that I thought that Jeff and I should leave things as they are. I told her that all I ever wanted for Jeff was for him to be happy. I hope he's happy. She answered by sharing that he is "still high maintenance." Her words. Bingo. High maintenance. He sucked the life out of me.

Okey-dokey! There's dirty clothes to wash, a door to paint and dishes to clean. I'm off! 

Weekend wrap up

We visited another farmer's market last Saturday. This time, in Sanford. It is a wee little market, with only a few vendors, but it is a REAL farmer's market. Everything is actually LOCAL! Finally! We bought eggs, tomatoes and a couple of cucumbers. Next time, we're going to buy a loaf of bread and maybe some cheese.

My lemon tree is loaded. Last year, I gave a couple of bags to Steve's mom, but there were so many, I couldn't use them all. I refuse to let these beautiful lemons go to waste this year. I am lucky enough to live where citrus grows, and even luckier to have a lemon tree in my yard. I am going to honor this tree by using all of the lemons.

Last night, I made lemon bars. Steve and I ate a couple; the rest, I packed and sent to Steve's office with him this morning. Last Friday, I baked chocolate chunk cookies. Because I couldn't find the semisweet chocolate I like, based on a recommendation, I used bittersweet chocolate. Steve told me that everyone at his office was complimentary, but I prefer semisweet.

This is my cat, Hilda. It's a miracle this picture turned out; she is the squirmiest thing ever! She kept sniffing the lens and batting at the lanyard. As soon as I took this picture, she took another swat at the lanyard. 

Brighter Day!

Brighter Day!

Brighter Planet will offset a free day’s worth of carbon emissions in your name — all they ask is that you make an effort to conserve energy this holiday season. Please click on the words Brighter Day (highlighted above) to make it happen! Woo-hoo!!!!

Evolution

I met my friend Barbara at Starbucks Monday morning. She and I only get together a couple of times a year. I absolutely adore her, and wish we saw each other more. In fact, she is one of the people I most admire, and whose opinion most matters to me. It is because I admire her so much that it pains me to admit that I basically drove her away. She only gets together with me for the sake of old times. I am embarrassed by that truth, but I am also grateful for her company and wisdom.

I have known Barb since I was about 15 years old. She was my brother's friend. I liked her immediately, and was surprised that someone so cool would be friends with an asshole like my brother. We were always friendly, but I figured that she was nice to me because she's a nice person, and that was about it.

Fast forward fifteen years, and she and my brother are dating. I thought from the start that no good would come of the relationship. I warned her to end it before she got hurt. I would have loved to be related to her by marriage, but predictably, my brother screwed her over. She was devastated, and I always admired her so deeply that I indulged her desire to rant and vent. Anything to be friends with her - even if it meant enabling an unhealthy fixation on my brother.

A friendship - of sorts - was born.

For many years, I obsessed about my own fixation; my identity was that of a hurt and angry person, and all I talked about was how badly my family mistreated me. I was traumatized by family's choices where I was concerned, and I didn't even know it. It is so easy to reflect and ask, "How did I not see?" But, I didn't. I had no idea that that single obsession was driving everyone from me. 

I have learned, and I continue to heal and evolve. 

What do I do now? Everyone got sick of listening to the broken record that was me. Most of those people, I'll never get back. They closed the door, and put about 20 padlocks on it. I get it. I would have done the same. Who wants to be around a crazy, angry, vengeful nutcase? It is exhausting to be around people like that.

When Barb and I were at Starbucks Monday, it seemed like she could tell that things were different with me. She even suggested that we get together after the holidays. I want to believe that it is more than another pity get together. I'm going to go regardless.

In traffic

I was stuck behind this person yesterday. 

I agree with their message, but I think less of them for posting it all over the ass of their car.

"Week in Review"

On Tuesday of last week, my friend Linda told me that she was coming over to visit for a couple of days after Thanksgiving. I spent the next couple of days frantically cleaning my filthy home. She ended up not coming over. Unfortunately, the threat of company is the only thing that motivates me to clean my house, so I'm not even marginally upset that she changed her plans. Living in a clean home has been wonderful.

Linda & Bill, and Steve & I went to the Gaylord Palms for Thanksgiving dinner. It was okay. We had fun because the four of us always have a good time together, but as far as the restaurant goes, I wouldn't do it again. The restaurant's greed got the best of them; it wasn't enough to charge $42 per person, but they also stuffed every spare area with extra tables and chairs. The dining room was so cramped that it was difficult to get up from our seats. 

We spent Friday lazying around. 

We saw Four Christmases on Saturday. You'd think that for a splashy production with all kinds of big stars, they'd spring for a decent wig for Reese. Near the end of the movie, the tired wig they popped on Reese's head was a distraction. The movie didn't make any sense. Reese and Vince start out happily together, not married, but also feeling no obligation to define their relationship. They spend the movie trotting to the homes of their divorced parents (hence the name). The time spent with their parents sucked, and that somehow inpired a change of heart in Reese. By the time they pulled up to her father's home (the last stop on the Odyssey), Reese wants a relationship talk; wants to know where things are going. What???!!!!  There were a few laughs, but overall the movie failed. Meh.

We got up for the farmer's market on Sunday. I wanted to buy some eggs, but I got things confused. The local chicken farm doesn't sell eggs at this farmer's market. 

The Orlando Farmer's Market is more of a craft fair. There is only ONE veggie vendor. Wha?! One? Huh? I do not get all of the incense and candle vendors. Who is buying all of that incense?

We took a nice stroll around the lake. Because of the cold temperatures, the Cypress Trees are losing their needles. They remind me of fall foliage.

I've lived in Orlando all my life, and I've driven past Brian's countless times, and never stopped. I've read glowing reviews of Brian's places like here and here and here. Finally, I ate there.

The restaurant was dirty. The service was unfriendly. The food was disgustingly greasy/stale/burned. It was just gross. 

The sweet bun basket was a combo of sweet rolls and a powdered sugar coated fritter. The fritter tasted like fish sticks. The sweet roll was just okay. 

Bottom line: Avoid!

No, I don't want a "Fresh" strawberry or blueberry short stack. I don't care to have "Today's Special" either.